I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
