Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
