I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
