It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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