just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
