I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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