everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize