you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
