butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
