I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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