She said her name was "party"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
