so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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