If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
