Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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