just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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