It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
