Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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