He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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