I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
