Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Sorry about my life...
Randomize
