My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
