We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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