We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
