Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
