Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
