i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
How naked do you want me to be?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
