I think I am morally bankrupt
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
