I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
