Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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