He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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