Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
