i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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