The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
