rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
So squirting runs in the family.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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