READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Randomize
