you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
