hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
