How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
