She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
The power of my boobs compel you
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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