oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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