It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
