Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
