I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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