apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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