i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
