i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
