I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
