You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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