You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
