wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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