HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
