Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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