She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
