I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
